The road traveled ....

Have you ever hit that point where things just start to drive you crazy? It's not that you can't get everything done, but there is just so much to do that your head begins to hurt.

Sad fact of life, is that I want a real vacation and that won't happen until after I finish this MBA. I am grateful that it's just a 2 year program, but right now, 2 years is an awful long time ... I am so envious of all of you who are off taking your lovely summer holidays and relaxing. I so wish that I could too. I keep reminding myself that it's not that bad and that I will survive the summer .... and I know I will ....

Still I long for some time where I can be carefree and not have to worry about both work stuff and homework. What was I thinking when I started this crazy journey!?!?!?!?!?

Tired ...

.... and a bit maudlin, unfortunately.

I'm just not doing well lately. Oh no, it's nothing fatal or crazy or huge, it's just those basic, little things in life. I like my life and what I am doing now, but I keep thinking about what I could have done to be different, choices and paths not taken.

Lately, I find myself in 'hermit' mode a lot. Only talking and hanging out in 'safe' places. That's not like me. I wonder what this time in the desert is supposed to teach me? I know that it has made me appreciate my mountain tops more. I also know that it has made me more responsible for myself and more willing to make decisions about real things in my life. These are good things. Still a desert is a desert ....

I find that life isn't easy (not that I expect or even want things to be easy) and I am not able to be as happy and joyful as I would like to show. I want to be light, yet I fail and am just another shadow. I don't say this a something bleak but simply because I am not feeling full right now. Honestly, my life is very busy with so many things that I love, yet, I find myself looking around and longing for something simpler. Does that make sense? I know that in the end, I will be OK, God doesn't give up (even when I have). Yet tonight is just one of those times where I am feeling nothing. Just doing because I must ....

Catch-up stuff: Just a few updates about my prior xanga posts ...

My toe is much better, thank you all very much. It did very well taped up. I also talked to our company nurse and she agreed with me and even gave me more tape. It's healing quite nicely and I think that it was just a very bad sprain and not a real break in the bone.

My new fridge is WONDERFUL! absolutely love it. I am still working on eating out of all the frozen stuff first. In a really weird way, I'm really enjoying my new appliance ... so lovely. (Yes, I wax poetic about appliances. Silly me!)

New!

I just love having new things around. A couple of weeks ago my fridge went! My frozen foods all went to mom's and I have been either rapidly eating or cooking the rest ... it's been a bit odd at meals around me. (Yes, I threw out a lot of stuff too.) Anyhow, earlier today, they have now delivered my NEW appliance. It's all plugged in and seeming to work fine. It's sitting around waiting to get cold. I'll wash the shelves and re-install then tomorrow.

It's tough not have a working fridge but I survived. (Canned goods are wonderful!) And I love having new things around! (Just a tad tough on the pocketbook, but this isn't a frivolous purchase.) 

Broken

All my life I have never broke a bone, then last October, I think I put a hairline fracture in my carpal on my left hand ... didn't realize what had happened until much later. Still, it's all healed by now and no lasting damage.

Now, I think I have a broken toe! Not sure if it's broken or sprained, but it's swollen and black & blue. How does one break a toe? For me ... during pilates class. I underestimated the distance to the floor during a handstand and instead of landing on the pads of my foot, I smack the tip of my toe straight into the floor! OUCH! Once again, it's on my left side .. there has to be something about its latin root of "sinitri or sinister".

Oh well ... gotta get some tape on these toes.

Up all night ...

I thought the days of all-nighters were over. Guess not!

It's not a good thing when you have all week to do homework, but just can't since you are working late. Even housework has fallen by the wayside. It's pretty sad. I really need help. Any ideas? I'm thinking about "hiring out" my house cleaning. Anyone know a good cleaning lad/lady? I've also taken to cooking up food and freezing it for later. I have a lot of single serving portions in my freezer right now. (sigh)